Sat Mar 31, 2018
I have heard three different Huey Lewis And The News songs on the radio today. I can only interpret this as the beginning of a new age in my life. A future I dub…
The Huey Renaissance.
Sat Mar 24, 2018
I just bought an area rug and a jar of pasta sauce. In the self-checkout. This, my friends, is why I love Target.
Fri Mar 23, 2018
I have enough free sample dental floss from my dentist office in my cubicle at work that I feel if I kept it on my person at all times I would be perfectly capable of using it to rappel into or climb out of a canyon should the need ever arise.
Thu Mar 22, 2018
…and Ice Cold Lemon Water.
Wed Mar 21, 2018
According to Google Translate, this decorative tile says, “The coffee maker is based on all earthly drinks.” I question its accuracy.
Tue Mar 20, 2018
I bought a new hair dryer. The high power setting could easily be mistaken for a jet engine preparing to taxi through my bathroom.
Mon Mar 19, 2018
There was a square dancing group performing in the atrium at work today. Delightful!
Also, today marked my 17th anniversary at my job.
I don’t think the two were related.
Or were they?
Sun Mar 18, 2018
Side note: “Anticipating Toast”, also a stellar band name. Nobody steal that one. I’m gonna use it. I just have to learn to play an instrument first. No. I have no musical aptitude. I’ll just go ahead and name this post “Anticipating Toast”.
Sat Mar 17, 2018
Continuing my series of “Movies Everyone Else Saw Decades Ago” with my first ever viewing of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!
Fri Mar 16, 2018
Not actually watching the movie tonight, but I flipped to TCM and feel it must be noted how much I love this house. The staircase. The window panes. The window seats. The fireplace. The open shelves. The ceiling beams. I need to live on a 1940s movie set. #TCMParty
Thu Mar 15, 2018
Accidental Sandwich Face.
Side Note: “Accidental Sandwich Face”, great band name.
Tue Mar 13, 2018
If you’re singing along with Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse Of The Heart, and by the final crescendo you’re not imagining yourself in full-body black spandex on a dark stage, arms outstretched like wings, while a twenty foot spray of white hot sparks shoot into the sky behind you, then you’re doing it wrong. #TurnAround
Mon Mar 12, 2018
“My submarine sandwich has been chipwrecked!”
I know. I’m sorry. I’ll just see myself out now.
Sun Mar 11, 2018
Sat Mar 10, 2018
I love toast.
At any time of the day or night.
This is morning cinnamon swirl toast.
Fri Mar 09, 2018
Thu Mar 08, 2018
Conversation between the two people hovering over me as I sat in the dentist chair…
Dental Assistant: What are you looking for?
Dentist: A smaller hatchet, but we don’t have one.
Assistant: You want to try a spoon?
Clearly, “Hatchet and Spoon” will be the name of my new throwback 70s buddy cop show. Hatchet has the overly audacious mustache. Spoon has the overly ambitious perm.
Tue Mar 06, 2018
Never do I feel so close to Pa Ingalls having to hang on to and follow the clothesline between the house and the barn during the blinding blizzards of The Long Winter, as when I have to jump out of the car and grab a shovel to clear the knee-deep snow drift that forms across my driveway before I can pull my car into the garage. I mean clearly I’m one step away from grinding wheat in the coffee mill and fashioning a button lamp from calico and axle grease here.
Mon Mar 05, 2018
Ice pellets audibly bounced off my hood on my snowy lunch break walk. A walk for which I was not warmly enough dressed, because it was 40° warmer yesterday. I’ve been duped.
Sun Mar 04, 2018
“Did you drop your…”
“Didn’t I meet you at…”
“I’ll only be in town a short while…”