Today Jun 09, 2018: Mr Dewy VonAppleton Esquire

Today

Sun May 13, 2018

writing in the sunsetWriting in the sunset.

 

Mon May 14, 2018
Grocery Checker: Thanks for stopping in. We appreciate your business.
Me: Thanks! You too!
*nailed it*

 

Tue May 15, 2018

I voted!Vote! Vote every chance you get! I voted in our primary election today!

 

Fri May 18, 2018

Mr Dewy VonAppleton EsquireMr. Dewy VonAppleton, Esquire.

 

Sat May 19, 2018

Grace and JimmyFinally got Grace and Jimmy hung up in the entry of my bedroom! #RearWindow #ClassicMoviesMakeGreatArt

 

Sun May 20, 2018
I’ve been cutting my own hair for years. Here is the origin story of every short summer cut I’ve had.
me: “I’m going to trim a little more than usual.”
*snip snip snip*
me: “Hmm. That’s not really what I meant to do.”
friends: “You cut your hair!”
me: “Yep! Totally! It’s summer!”

 

Mon May 21, 2018

leaning purple flowersNow everyone leeeeean to the left! Reach for the sun!!

 

Fri May 25, 2018
Dental surgery day! I had to have a crown lengthening procedure done this morning. Which I am disappointed to report after 2.5 hours in the dentist chair resulted in neither jeweled headgear nor the ability to symbolically rule a country. It just resulted in stitches in my mouth, more pain and questionable bleeding than I would prefer, and instructions to ice my swollen face. (Update: I’m healing just fine…having the stitches in for ten days was the worst part!)

 

fireworksEvery year I watch my city’s fireworks show in my pajamas with my head stuck out this window, because I always forget about it until I hear the first booms while I’m already in bed. Pretty, but I let a lot of bugs in through the window!

 

Fri Jun 01, 2018
Let us all take a moment to celebrate the fact that Rick Springfield successfully worked the words “the point is probably moot” into the lyrics of a now perennial pop song. #JessiesGirl

 

Sat Jun 02, 2018

headphonesGetting to the oil change shop first thing in the morning proved to be so efficient, I barely had time to untangle my headphones before my car was done!

 

Mon Jun 04, 2018
Startup idea: Artificial Intelligence for parking garages that shouts NO in a semi-frustrated tone to warn you when what you think is a parking spot is actually a tiny car hidden behind a giant car.

 

Wed Jun 06, 2018

sitting under the flowersSitting under the flowers.

 

Thu Jun 07, 2018

mama and baby ducksMama and baby ducks! Spotted on my walk into work this morning!

 

swing time 1

swing time 2

swing time 3

swing time 4

This just in: It is an unscientific fact that time actually stops during the “Never Gonna Dance” sequence in #SwingTime. At least it does in my house.

Also…I FREAKING LOVE MOVIES!!! #TCMParty

 

Thu Jun 07, 2018

orange sky cloudsThe sky is putting on a show tonight!

 

Fri Jun 08, 2018
A majority of my comic misadventures begin with the words, “eh. I don’t need to move that clearly obvious obstacle out of my way” as I attempt to haul something heavy into my house.

Today Mar 31, 2018: Anticipating Toast

Today

Sat Mar 31, 2018

I have heard three different Huey Lewis And The News songs on the radio today. I can only interpret this as the beginning of a new age in my life. A future I dub…

The Huey Renaissance.

 

Sat Mar 24, 2018

I just bought an area rug and a jar of pasta sauce. In the self-checkout. This, my friends, is why I love Target.

 

Fri Mar 23, 2018

I have enough free sample dental floss from my dentist office in my cubicle at work that I feel if I kept it on my person at all times I would be perfectly capable of using it to rappel into or climb out of a canyon should the need ever arise.

 

Thu Mar 22, 2018

…and Ice Cold Lemon Water.

 

Wed Mar 21, 2018

According to Google Translate, this decorative tile says, “The coffee maker is based on all earthly drinks.” I question its accuracy.

 

Tue Mar 20, 2018

I bought a new hair dryer. The high power setting could easily be mistaken for a jet engine preparing to taxi through my bathroom.

 

Mon Mar 19, 2018

There was a square dancing group performing in the atrium at work today. Delightful!

Also, today marked my 17th anniversary at my job.

I don’t think the two were related.

Or were they?

 

Sun Mar 18, 2018

Anticipating toast.

Side note: “Anticipating Toast”, also a stellar band name. Nobody steal that one. I’m gonna use it. I just have to learn to play an instrument first. No. I have no musical aptitude. I’ll just go ahead and name this post “Anticipating Toast”.

 

Sat Mar 17, 2018

Continuing my series of “Movies Everyone Else Saw Decades Ago” with my first ever viewing of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!

 

Fri Mar 16, 2018

Not actually watching the movie tonight, but I flipped to TCM and feel it must be noted how much I love this house. The staircase. The window panes. The window seats. The fireplace. The open shelves. The ceiling beams. I need to live on a 1940s movie set. #TCMParty

 

Thu Mar 15, 2018

Accidental Sandwich Face.

Side Note: “Accidental Sandwich Face”, great band name.

 

Tue Mar 13, 2018

If you’re singing along with Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse Of The Heart, and by the final crescendo you’re not imagining yourself in full-body black spandex on a dark stage, arms outstretched like wings, while a twenty foot spray of white hot sparks shoot into the sky behind you, then you’re doing it wrong. #TurnAround

 

Mon Mar 12, 2018

“My submarine sandwich has been chipwrecked!”

I know. I’m sorry. I’ll just see myself out now.

 

Sun Mar 11, 2018

Hello, Squirrel.

 

Sat Mar 10, 2018

I love toast.

All kinds.

At any time of the day or night.

This is morning cinnamon swirl toast.

 

Fri Mar 09, 2018

Salsa.

 

Thu Mar 08, 2018

Conversation between the two people hovering over me as I sat in the dentist chair…

Dental Assistant: What are you looking for?
Dentist: A smaller hatchet, but we don’t have one.
Assistant: You want to try a spoon?

Clearly, “Hatchet and Spoon” will be the name of my new throwback 70s buddy cop show. Hatchet has the overly audacious mustache. Spoon has the overly ambitious perm.

 

Tue Mar 06, 2018

Never do I feel so close to Pa Ingalls having to hang on to and follow the clothesline between the house and the barn during the blinding blizzards of The Long Winter, as when I have to jump out of the car and grab a shovel to clear the knee-deep snow drift that forms across my driveway before I can pull my car into the garage. I mean clearly I’m one step away from grinding wheat in the coffee mill and fashioning a button lamp from calico and axle grease here.

 

Mon Mar 05, 2018

Ice pellets audibly bounced off my hood on my snowy lunch break walk. A walk for which I was not warmly enough dressed, because it was 40° warmer yesterday. I’ve been duped.

 

Sun Mar 04, 2018

“Did you drop your…”
“No.”
“Didn’t I meet you at…”
“No.”
“I’ll only be in town a short while…”
“Good.”
#TheMusicMan #TCMParty

Today Feb 10, 2018: New Year, Familiar Waffles

Today

Sat Feb 10, 2018

My lamp and today’s mug should have called each other last night to make sure they weren’t going to wear the same thing today. Target’s 2017 home decor color schemes were on point. Matchy-matchy.

 

Fri Feb 09, 2018

Snow! Part Deux: Bigger, Badder, Fluffier!

 

Thu Feb 08, 2018

That moment when you’re staring confusedly at the television wondering what kind of weird movie trailer this is and then realize it’s a fragrance commercial.

 

Wed Feb 07, 2018

Hypothesis: Stress noticeably dissipates from your body while listening to Henry Mancini’s Baby Elephant Walk.

Test Sample Size: 1

Results: Hypothesis Confirmed.

 

Tue Feb 06, 2018

Snow Pants: a haiku

Seven minute walk

Wind chill far below zero

Snow pants, I love you

 

Mon Feb 05, 2018

Snow!

 

Sat Feb 03, 2018

The only thing that sounded even remotely good for lunch. Eggos and peanut butter.

 

Thu Feb 01, 2018

Last night, about 90 minutes after I fell asleep, I woke up from a nightmare screaming in terror with no sound coming out of my mouth. I had to turn on the lights and the tv until I was ready to go back to sleep. When my alarm went off in the morning I was having a dream that I was in a giant warehouse in front of a speeding newspaper printing press with papers whizzing by. At the end of the press I watched as the pages magically bound themselves into a large, heavy, hardcover dictionary. I was so excited I picked it up, opened it, and stuck my head in to smell the new book smell of the warm pages. It was a wild night in my brain.

 

Sun Jan 28, 2018

Chocolate Peanut Butter Chocolate late night ice cream snack.

 

Fri Jan 26, 2018

Nothing feels better for an exhaustion headache on a really cold day than when your body is bundled up nice and warm in a coat and you walk through a street corridor between two tall buildings and the jet stream of wind freezes your bare head like an ice pack. I mean maybe something feels better but that felt really good today after a long week.

 

Tue Jan 23, 2018

ME EVERY TIME #FiddlerOnTheRoof
COMES ON TV:

Hmm. I’m busy. I should switch this off.

Well. I’ll just watch long enough so I can sing Tradition.

Well. I’ll just watch until I can sing Matchmaker.

Well. I’ll just watch until I can sing If I Were A Rich Man.

Well…
#TCMParty

 

Mon Jan 22, 2018

I start re-reading this favorite childhood book during every blizzard.

 

Doing the dishes.

 

Sun Jan 21, 2018

The late night sky has a different hue when there is rain or snow in the air. When the house is dark and I see the sky through the slats in the blinds it’s almost pink. Precipitation Pink.

 

Sat Jan 20, 2018

A wave of nostalgia in the frozen foods section possessed me to buy a bag of tater tots today.

 

Mon Jan 15, 2018

I bought this shirt 4 years ago, having never seen the movie, fully confident I would one day make myself legit. Tonight is that night. I am nothing if not perpetually 35 years late to the party! #ReturnOfTheJedi #MovieMonday

 

Sun Jan 14, 2018

I somehow took 24 photos of my pasta, because I didn’t realize my finger was holding down a button as I held my phone. An hour later Google Photos presented me with a stylized animation of said pasta sitting perfectly still on my plate.

Thank goodness for technology.

 

Sat Jan 13, 2018

Accurate depiction of my face while watching the end of #CloseEncountersOfTheThirdKind for the first time tonight. Riveting! Beautiful score too. #DVRtheater #TCMParty

 

Thu Jan 11, 2018

Finally got to have some vacation day fun this afternoon! Now I need a nap. And pizza. Not necessarily in that order.

 

Sat Jan 06, 2018

A: Two.
Q: How many days was I into my New Year’s goal of doing my extremely simple exercise routine every day before I pulled my hamstring?

And to be honest…I may have technically tweaked it getting out of bed after a nap after exercising.

#NewYearNewYou

 

Fri Jan 05, 2018

Week one after the holidays and there still seems to be glitter everywhere. I don’t think I was even involved in anything glitter related this year and it’s still everywhere. Wait. See Jan 01 post…2018 Glitter Glasses. Mystery solved.

 

Tue Jan 02, 2018

Sunset.

 

Mon Jan 01, 2018

Who Wore It Better This New Year’s Eve: Glasses Edition! Me with my 2018 Glitter Glasses over my prescription eyewear or the PBS Nerd logo on my t-shirt?