Welp. This daily thing is going fantastically well so far, am I right? It seems I managed zero weekly wrap-up posts in April. Trust me, you did not miss much. I didn’t feel well all month and it was ridiculously cold and snowy here. So, you basically missed what would have been a lot of me complaining about being cold and not feeling well. You really dodged a bullet there. But, the weather has finally gotten itself together, and given us a few beautiful Sprummer days (Spring/Summer? Hmm. I don’t know. It sounded quirky cool in my head. Now I’m undecided.) Anyway, here’s to a better May! I did manage to jot a few things down here and there in April…
(it starts out complainy…see I wasn’t kidding)
Wed Apr 04, 2018
This morning the temperature was 15°F. The windchill was 0°F. It is April 4th. That is all.
Sat Apr 07, 2018
Mon Apr 09, 2018
“Driving Home From Work Shannon” is always calculating how soon after walking in my home I could feasibly go to sleep.
“Still Somehow Awake An Hour Past My Normal Bedtime Shannon” is always left wondering, where did it all go wrong?
Tue Apr 10, 2018
“How Do I Get This Into The House Shannon” would like to thank her friend Science for its help. Special shout-out to Physics and Fulcrum! Couldn’t have done it without you! Apologies to my aching body.
Fri Apr 13, 2018
shoeless 1980s tiptoed for heels mannequin in leggings and cap and gown gripping diploma perched atop the to-go salads case staring out wistfully over the checkout lanes
– things I ask you to picture in your mind because I’m too self-conscious to snap photos in public
Sat Apr 14, 2018
Me as I sat down with my dinner: “I wonder what time it is? I’m starving and getting sleepy. Must be close to 7, I’d guess.”
Clock: It is 3:51 p.m.
Thu Apr 26, 2018
I bought a paper newspaper today. It’s delightful. There aren’t headlines scrolling by as I read. There’s no shouting and talking over each other. The ads aren’t flashing. And I get to do a crossword puzzle with a pen instead of a keyboard.
Fri Apr 27, 2018
Dear Pillow Protector Manufacturer,
Your use of the term “maximum allergy protection” implies there could be no possible allergy protection better for my pillow than what is in this package…that is until I turn to my right and see your slightly higher priced “ultimate allergy protection”. Explain yourself.
Sat Apr 28, 2018
Tue May 1, 2018
When you balance yourself on the edge of the bathtub to dispose of a large spider high on the wall, sort of miss, shake the shower curtain to find it, and a spider of an entirely different size, shape, color, and variety dashes out sprinting across the floor of the tub…it’s spider season, my friends.
Fri May 4, 2018